Wow! I'm so terrible at keeping up with my blog...probably why my journal is so empty. lol! Well, Cameron and I attended our last PRIDE (adoption/foster training) last Saturday. The classes have been pretty informative. We discussed abuse, inter-racial adoption, discipline, and all kinds of other things. Cameron and I got our live scans (digital finge printing) done at the end of June, so we just have to do CPR this Saturday. After that the county's private adoption agency will make an appt with us for a home study.
Several interesting things happened in class last weekend though. I'm about to rant and rave a little. Just fair warning. We had several speakers, which was pretty cool. A mom whose kids had gone into foster care, and then been re-unified with her, a foster mom for babies, and a nurse who works for the county and has 4 adopted children. There have been things through out this class that I have not agreed with, and I just smile, nod, keep my mouth shut and know I'll do it my way. However, Saturday I came as close as I ever have to getting really mad in class. The last speaker, the adoptive mother, gave a speech about how you need to be connected to the birth people of your kids. She said every adopted kid will eventually be interested in knowing their birth people (she said parents, but I say people because I don't believe they should have that title). I so badly wanted to raise my hand and say I personally knew 3 adopted children who have never once cared to know anything about their birth people. After telling one of them this story, she confirmed that none of her three adopted siblings ever cared either.
Here's the worst part though...She said (and remember, she has four adopted children, she could give birth to any) that those adopted kids are "genetically a part of that family". I wanted to scream!!!!!! Biology and genetics have nothing to do with "FAMILY". As far as I'm concerned, the body is just a house for our spirit and those babies are my spirit children. The woman who gives birth to them is just a spirit delivery truck. I couldn't believe that this woman would feel that way. She was impying that I would never have the same bond with these children that I would with a child I gave birth too. She might as well have said Cam and I weren't their "real" parents. I left that class feeling cheated that I might never give birth to a child. Through out this process I have felt less and less pain about that. I just want to be a mommy, I don't care if I carry that child in my womb. But those feelings bubbled to the surface a little because she made me feel like I would never be a "real" parent. If your children ever had the slightest bit of insecurity about being adopted or feeling as if they don't belong, all that attitude does it feed those feelings. It's not fair to my kids or to me. Now I know that these people don't have the eternal perspective that Cam and I have through the gospel. But I still couldn't believe they would encourage this attitude. One woman in class who already has an adopted daughter said they celebrate the day she was adopted. I thought, no way. My kids will always be aware that they are adopted, but I will never emphasize it. Anyway, that was the frustrating part of the day.
Here's the great part. Somehow the subject of social workers came up and one of the instructors asked if anyone had been contacted by theirs. I was the only one who raised my hand. I didn't think a whole lot about it until lunchtime. A couple of the others in the clas came and asked us about it. Apparently they had their paperwork in and had called the office and tried to find out who their case worker was and had no luck. So I started thinking about it. Our social worker has been amazing. She called me as soon as she recieved the form from the orientation and walked me through the whole process. Then she called me the day she recieved our packet of paper work. She told me she had just gotten it and that she was walking the application for live scan over to the right person and that I could call and make an appt after I jung up with her. So I did. Then she called me right before our last PRIDE class to make sure we knew our next steps and that she had everything she needed. She mailed out new forms (because we moved into a house) the day I called her. She always calls me back after a day or two. I though, now why are we getting such great service? Then it clicked. When we turned in the orientation form, we checked siblings. I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty positive that we are being rushed through the process because we'll take siblings. The instructors told us what a hard time they have keeping siblings together. She may evern have kids in mind for us already! I'm trying not to hope...but I can't help it! So we may be really really close to being a mommy and a daddy!!!! Yay!!!!! I'm so excited!
OH boy did things get silly!
