Christmas time is here...beauty everywhere...

Christmas is my most favorite time of year. Did you ever notice how many more people smile at you during the holiday season? This Christmas is a little bittersweet though. I had hoped that my mad dash through the stores on Black Friday would be for children's toys. I imagined Santa filling tiny stockings and eating the cookies I baked with a little one in the high chair next to me.

Have you ever turned all of the lights off in your house except the tree and just sat and stared at it? I do it every year. It is so beautiful, and merry. We have a cute star in the top that changes colors, and it always draws my eyes. Can you imagine what it was like for the wise men to look up into the sky and see a beautiful star shining down from heaven? Sometimes I wish I had a guiding star to follow everyday. A star that would lead me back to my heavenly home. It may sound silly but, we are always being reminded that life is short, especially compared to eternity. This life is just a tiny speck in the timeline of our existence. I don't want to waste the time I have on this earth with my children. I have had seven and a half years that I could have spent with them. I know, I know, 26 is still young blah blah blah... but everyday is a day lost that I could have spent with my babies. Anyway, I have another baby's birth to celebrate this season, so I'll try to focus on my Savior.

I've never really listened much to the song "I wonder as I wander", however Stephen wrote a trio for Adrienne and Kelly and I and that song is my part. I was singing it the other day and I realized, it's a beautiful song.

I wonder as I wander out under the sky

How Jesus the Saviour did come for to die

For poor on'ry people like you and like I;

I wonder as I wander out under the sky

When Mary birthed Jesus 'twas in a cow's stall

With wise men and farmers and shepherds and all

But high from God's heaven, a star's light did fall

And the promise of ages it then did recall.

If Jesus had wanted for any wee thing

A star in the sky or a bird on the wing

Or all of God's Angels in heaven to sing

He surely could have it, 'cause he was the King

I wonder as I wander out under the sky

How Jesus the Saviour did come for to die

For poor on'ry people like you and like I;

I wonder as I wander out under the sky

So, while you wander this Christmas season, ponder your Savior. Merry Christmas!

Short update

So, its been a while...I've had more homework that I ever thought possible in the last 7 weeks. Thanks goodness this is the last week of classes until January!

Cam and I had a great time decorating the house and putting up Christmas lights. Its so fun to drive up to the house all colorful and bright. :) We had a ton of fun spending the week of Thanksgiving in Utah with family. Getting back was nice too.

The Christmas show I'm in is coming up on Saturday and I'm practicing like crazy. It's going to be incredible! Then we hit the road Sunday to go to Idaho for Christmas.

The most frustrating thing going on is still adoption stuff. My doctor's office lost my physical form, so I made another appt. Then on Thursday this week they called to say they had found it. I have one more form to pick up and that's all of our paperwork. So, hopefully we'll get the inspection done by the end of January. Its been a little frustrating lately. I know I should just take apart the nursery, its sad to walk by it. But, I can't bring myself to do it. So many of my friends are parents or about to be, and I'm still waiting... I was really frustrated and upset the other day, so Cameron gave me a blessing. The Lord told me it was close, but that we still had more waiting to do. I'm trying not to let that get to me but... its bumming me out a little.

One good thing though, I made an appt with the infertility clinic for January 6th! My OB told me that they had a really really high success rate of getting people pregnant. So, we'll see. Either way, I just want to have a family.

Cam got offered a different position on the same campus with Cal State. He is VERY excited about it, and we're hoping they will be able to work out the change.

I'm trading calls with a woman who owns a dance studio in Concord, about teaching voice lessons there. So keep me in your prayers that it works out. It would be a huge blessing.

I hope everyone is enjoying their Christmas holiday. Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanzaa! And all other seasonal wishes. lol!

Adoption Update

Well, Cameron had his interview Friday. It went really well. I couldn't believe it when he was done in an hour and forty-five minutes! But then...I told them it would go fast, Cameron's family is pretty normal. lol. Our social worker said she was planning on approving us. Yay! She was really impressed with our ideas for parenting and discipline. She liked that we had thought it out so much and she liked our approach. That was comforting. So the next step is to finish her report on us. She has been writing as we went so she said it shouldn't be too long. Two weeks at the most. Then we'll proof the report to make sure the factual stuff is right. Then she sends it to her boss who approves it and then it goes to the county. Then the county will sent up an appointment to do the actual home inspection for safety and stuff. After that, we are actually done!!!! Wohooo! It will probably be another 4-6 weeks, but that's not bad!

So now Cameron and I are going to get focused on getting the house ready for the inspection. The list is HUGE! It is a little intimidating but, we'll take it one step at a time. I have a friend with a 2yr old, so after we're done, I'll let him loose and see if anything needs to be moved. lol!

CUbs vs. Giants

Cubs/Giants game. We wiped the floor with 'em!
Can you believe how many Cubs fans there were?!?!? It was awesome!!


FUKUDOME!!!!

More Thriller

Cameron and Lorena Bobbit do the "Scissors" LOL!



The Zombies







This was projected on wall. Cool huh?

Thriller

Cam and I went to St. George last weekend to see my mom perform with Jean's Golden Girls, at Tuachan. It was a cute pre-show. The main show, Thriller, was AMAZING!!!! Before the performance, there were Zombies everywhere. It was cool.




Curtain Call









"Big and Chunky...Mom's got some junk in the trunk!

It's been a while...

I have had a lot to write about, but I just haven't felt like it. We had our first interview (homestudy process) a couple of weeks ago. It took 3 hours, we answered questions about our relationship, our relationship with our families, our intimate relationship, our goals, habits, etc, etc. We found out that after that, she has to do an interview with just me, then one with Cam, then she writes a huge report. She sends it to the county, then they come out and inspect the home for our foster license. My interview took over 4 hours! Oiy! I haven't talked about myself so much...ever! Cam's interview is this Friday.

After the first interview I was really frustrated. We didn't realize we had so much left in the process. Then the social worker seemed to be pushing hard for birth visits (visits with birth family...after adoption!), and trying to convince us to up our age limit. I was so frustrated I wanted to quit. So, I had Cam give me a blessing. The Lord told us to be strong and patient. He said we were on the right path, and to stick with our original specifications, one or two kids under 2 years old. HE also said we needed to be extremely careful, to fast and pray about each child presented to us. He said there were children who would bring disharmony and discord into our home. Cam and I both felt that we would have to...for lack of a better term...turn down, the first few kids they present to us. So the most important thing is to fast and pray and not be so anxious to be parents that we just at the first ones they tell us about.

We are trying very hard to prepare ourselves for it.

Cam's parents came to visit the weekend before last. They came to see Cam's orchestra concert, and as luck would have it, my group performed too. We had a lot of fun! The concerts went great. Plus Cam's dad served his mission in this area so it was really fun for him to visit the area. We took them to Fisherman's Warf, Cam's campus, and they got to see our new home. It was great!

My Friend, Victory, took some great headshots for me while we were up at the cabin.

Ok so...they aren't all headshots...but aren't they fun?!?!?

http://mudblossom.blogspot.com/

Adoption update

Waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting.... Thats what adoption is all about! Still, I can't complain, its been a much faster process for us than others. We got a slew of new paperwork from the independant adoption agency the county works through. We had to fill out really long questionaires about our childhood, relationships with each other, parents, etc. There's more, but that was all she needed to put us on her shcedule. So I should get a call from her anyday to schedule our homestudy. We are kind of getting conflicting info though, Liliput apparently doesn't "liscence " the home, she won't be looking for baby proofing, saftey stuff, I guess she is more the one who ok's us as parents. Then the county's social worker will come out and liscence the home and finish up with us. THEN supposedly, we are done and we wait...but this time for babies! Cam and I also have to get a few more tests for our physicals, but other than that, we are almost done. :)

Weekending

So last weekend we headed to a cabin outside Chico. It's belongs to the family of our friend Victory, and she graciously hosted a relaxing weekend full of games, campfires, walks in the woods, etc. We had such a great time! I'll put pics up eventually, but Victory's are way better, so I have to get them from her. lol.

So on Saturday night, we went to see the A's play (& beat!) the Mariners with our good friends, Victory & Dan.

We had these awesome seats that belong to Dan's firm.

(Can you see the ball in this one? It's that little streak of white. Awesome!)

You may notice that these pics have an awful lot of pink for a sporting event. It was Breast Cancer Awareness night, so they had pink jerseys & pashminas. Also, 500 breast cancer survivors made a big pink ribbon on the field for the pre-game show. Awesome!

Okay, I just think that their mascot is cute!

The girls screamed, cheered, yelled our heads off,

while the boys were geeking it out with the scorecards.

They were a bit more mellow during the interesting plays. Boys are so weird.

Here's the wind-up... and the pitch!

We got to see Ken Griffey Jr. play! (you can see the ball in this one, too)

Okay, even though we were thrilled that we got him out at first, it was so fun to see practically a living legend in action.

Mmm...we love baseball.

I would die for that- don't forget to pause the music at the top of the page.

A friend of my is starting infertility and she put this video on her blog. I cried all the way through it, and I'm still crying...:) It's really beautiful and it expresses exctly how i feel. I hope you enjoy it. :)

Adoption Update

OK, So we got a message from our social worker today. Thanks goodness!!! She doesn't need the foster finger prints to send our info in the the adoption agency. So we should still be on track. We should get a call from them in the next couple of weeks to schedule our home study. Yay!

Pictures of the new digs! It's still a mess though!

Family Room

Living Room

Dingin Room

Kitchen and Eating Area

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I have discovered I have NO patience left... My social worker called yesterday, and the last time they did our live scan, they did the wrong one AGAIN!!!! We went in for the first time at the end of June, then they didn't do the foster set. So we called to schedule a new appt and they wanted to schedule it out two weeks! Well, Cam talked them into a date a week sooner. So, like I said, they called again to say that they did the wrong set again. This time they wouldn't budge on the date two weeks out!!! Argh!!! I was so hoping we'd have children by Thanksgiving but now I don't know if that will happen. Our worker called because she was just getting everything ready to send to the agency for our home-study. We finished our other live scan at least two weeks ago. So if she waits two weeks from this one, that another 4 weeks! Then the agency takes like two weeks to call and schedule the home study. Then, our worker comes out here and licences our home. So we are probably looking at another 8 weeks until we are approved. I just....I'm so bummed.

Well, now for some good news. I went to a baptism last Sunday. A New Light sang His Hands. It was a young single mother from S. Africa. Her uncle and his family have been trying to get her to attend our church, but she was adamantly against it. Then she got lost trying to find another church and drove right into the parking lot of an LDS church. The spirit was ao amazingly strong. I was so touched to be a part of the program. You could just feel the angels dancing when she came up from the water. She is obviously a very special spirit. She talked about how much she wanted a church where there was love and the members served each other, and I was so touched by that. It made me resolve to do more service for others.

It's beginning to look like a home!

We spent the day working on our house. We trimmed a bunch of trees and bushes so the yard doesn't look so over grown. We discovered that we have an orange tree, plum tree, lemon tree, pomegranate tree, and a fig tree! We also met our next door neighbor. They have the most incredible yard! You could easily fit two more houses on their lot. That is unheard of in CA. We thought we had a huge yard, now after seeing both our nextdoor neighbors' yards, we think we may have been cheated! lol!

We also put together the nursery. We hung curtains, and put the crib together, and hung shelves. I haven't decided what else to do with it yet, it looks pretty bare right now. It's hard to decide how to decorate though when we don't know if we'll adopt two girls, two boys, or one of each...

We put up a bumch of pictures and emptied out several more boxes. Its almost there! I'll post pics soon, I have to find the sd card converter for my computer...its somewhere in the house.

We are getting our physicals done, and still waiting on the home study...still waiting...

I just can't wait until there is baby mess everywhere!!

Cam's job is pretty solid and despite the furloughs, we are so grateful that he has a job. Especially one that he loves. I however, am having a terrible time finding a job. Argh. It is quite difficult when you don't have any skills or a degree... I do have three voice students now though. Hopefully I'll get more soon.

Could I be more lazy?

OK, so I skipped out on my homework this week, and I have a paper due today...ugh I just can't get myself to do it. It's only 500 words!!! So instead, I'm farming on facebook. 

I went to Utah last weekend to perform with A New Light at a missionary reunion. It went really well, and I got to spend some time with my mom. Cameron was a total stud and cleaned up a lot of the boxes and mess at home. 

We are having fun having a yard. Cameron has his first furlough day tomorrow and we are going to use it to plant our first garden. We have tomato vines in pots, and today we found a little tomato on one! We are going to plant beans, peas, squash, potatoes, corn, and some other stuff. Lets just hope we can turn our thumbs from bluish black to green!

We are almost done with our approval adoption process. We are currently waiting to be contacted by the independent adoption agency the county works through. They will set up a home study with us. Hopefully they'll call soon before I go crazy! lol!

Not much else going on. :)

Ahhhh...a Sunday.

Today was pretty relaxing. We went to our new ward, which is great!!!! People were so friendly and introducing themselves. There is also a family in the ward who has adopted through the county. They have the sweetest kiddies! They are a great resource for info. Cameron also ran into a guy he played in band with in high school. What a small world. He is in one of the other wards in our building. Funny right?

Then we went home and relaxed! We finished the series of friends last night for like the zillionth time. (we don't have cable) So today we were trying to figure out what to watch, we decided to watch the West Wing series again. We just love that show. We have actually learned so much about governing, we realize it's not all totally realistic, but still. Also, we love how they always present both sides and that even though it's a democratic government, sometimes they show that the republicans are right. It's a great show. All though, the first four seasons are our favorite because after that Rob Lowe leaves and he is the best part of the comedy. Plus Cam and I both have a crush on him...lol just kidding.

We also spent some time working on our yard! It's so fun to have a yard to work on!! I sprayed at the spider webs all over the outside with the hose...yuck. Then I made dinner! This may not seem like a big deal to you, but it is for me. I hate closed in kitchens,like galley kitchens, they make me feel claustrophobic, so I don't cook. Well, our kitchen in the house isn't big, but it open up right into an eat in area that opens right up in to the family room. So it's a hug light room and I really like cooking in it! Tonight, I'm making cookies!!

Adoption update

We had CPR and first aid class today. It was actually really great. They have changed a lot since I had it last. But I've never had it for children and infants before. I was sooooooooo glad they taught us that stuff. I feel so much better prepared to handle scary situations with our babies. The first aid had a lot of new info too. Our teacher was really easy to listen to and she had a great sense of humor. So our class was actually fun. It's our last class!!!! Now just the home study and physicals. Wow! We are getting so close!

Visit to Maryland

My Grandpop passed away two weeks ago. It was sad to lose my last Grandparet, but now he is with my Dad and Grandmom. I went to Maryland/Delware for the funeral. It was really great to see all of my family though. I've missed them all so much.

Lazy!

So I am just about the laziest person ever...I can't seem to get un packing as much as I should. I also need to stop eating crap!!! Ok. New day...new mentality. I'm trying to get my own website up too so I can advertise voice lessons and put up some of my music and stuff. We'll see how it goes...and whether I can afford it. Cause I'm broke! What else is new? Anyway, as soon as we get the place unpacked I'll get some pictures of our place up. :)

New house!

Our new house is awesome!!!!! We moved Friday, all though it took us all weekend. LOL! We had 9 guys from our new ward show up to help us unload. It was so cool. Our neighbor came over and hugged us and welcomed us to the neighborhood, it was so cute! It's a mess right now, but it will be awesome to put stuff away with so much room. The only drag is that I dropped a bicycle on my pinky. Ouch! I lost half the nail and it could be broken, so it's in a finger guard for a while. :)

Adoption update

Wow! I'm so terrible at keeping up with my blog...probably why my journal is so empty. lol! Well, Cameron and I attended our last PRIDE (adoption/foster training) last Saturday. The classes have been pretty informative. We discussed abuse, inter-racial adoption, discipline, and all kinds of other things. Cameron and I got our live scans (digital finge printing) done at the end of June, so we just have to do CPR this Saturday. After that the county's private adoption agency will make an appt with us for a home study. 

Several interesting things happened in class last weekend though. I'm about to rant and rave a little. Just fair warning. We had several speakers, which was pretty cool. A mom whose kids had gone into foster care, and then been re-unified with her, a foster mom for babies, and a nurse who works for the county and has 4 adopted children. There have been things through out this class that I have not agreed with, and I just smile, nod, keep my mouth shut and know I'll do it my way. However, Saturday I came as close as I ever have to getting really mad in class. The last speaker, the adoptive mother, gave a speech about how you need to be connected to the birth people of your kids. She said every adopted kid will eventually be interested in knowing their birth people (she said parents, but I say people because I don't believe they should have that title). I so badly wanted to raise my hand and say I personally knew 3 adopted children who have never once cared to know anything about their birth people. After telling one of them this story, she confirmed that none of her three adopted siblings ever cared either.

Here's the worst part though...She said (and remember, she has four adopted children, she could give birth to any) that those adopted kids are "genetically a part of that family". I wanted to scream!!!!!! Biology and genetics have nothing to do with "FAMILY". As far as I'm concerned, the body is just a house for our spirit and those babies are my spirit children. The woman who gives birth to them is just a spirit delivery truck. I couldn't believe that this woman would feel that way. She was impying that I would never have the same bond with these children that I would with a child I gave birth too. She might as well have said Cam and I weren't their "real" parents. I left that class feeling cheated that I might never give birth to a child. Through out this process I have felt less and less pain about that. I just want to be a mommy, I don't care if I carry that child in my womb. But those feelings bubbled to the surface a little because she made me feel like I would never be a "real" parent. If your children ever had the slightest bit of insecurity about being adopted or feeling as if they don't belong, all that attitude does it feed those feelings. It's not fair to my kids or to me. Now I know that these people don't have the eternal perspective that Cam and I have through the gospel. But I still couldn't believe they would encourage this attitude. One woman in class who already has an adopted daughter said they celebrate the day she was adopted. I thought, no way. My kids will always be aware that they are adopted, but I will never emphasize it. Anyway, that was the frustrating part of the day. 

Here's the great part. Somehow the subject of social workers came up and one of the instructors asked if anyone had been contacted by theirs. I was the only one who raised my hand. I didn't think a whole lot about it until lunchtime. A couple of the others in the clas came and asked us about it. Apparently they had their paperwork in and  had called the office and tried to find out who their case worker was and had no luck. So I started thinking about it. Our social worker has been amazing. She called me as soon as she recieved the form from the orientation and walked me through the whole process. Then she called me the day she recieved our packet of paper work. She told me she had just gotten it and that she was walking the application for live scan over to the right person and that I could call and make an appt after I jung up with her. So I did. Then she called me right before our last PRIDE class to make sure we knew our next steps and that she had everything she needed. She mailed out new forms (because we moved into a house) the day I called her. She always calls me back after a day or two. I though, now why are we getting such great service? Then it clicked. When we turned in the orientation form, we checked siblings. I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty positive that we are being rushed through the process because we'll take siblings. The instructors told us what a hard time they have keeping siblings together. She may evern have kids in mind for us already! I'm trying not to hope...but I can't help it! So we may be really really close to being a mommy and a daddy!!!! Yay!!!!! I'm so excited!

4th of July

The Temple Hill Orchestra and Choir put on a show called America Celebrates! Cameron was AMAZING! A New Light also performed The National Anthem (www.anewlightmusic.com to hear our National Anthem) and Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy. It was a great show!

We were excited to watch the fireworks with our friends, from the parking lot of the temple. Until we realized the fireworks were so far away, they were TINY!

Some more San Francisco

OH boy did things get silly!





We took Mom and Eliese to Pier 39, Fisherman's Warf.

Mom bought some HUGE California strawberries. They were incredible! Cam bought half a dozen apricots, he at least gave me one...

They were delicious!