LIfe update

There has been a lot going on the last two months, but I didn't want to make updates on it all. So, I just didn't blog about it. We are still in limbo right now though, but I figured it was time for a blog update.

Cam is interviewing for jobs in NYC and we will be moving there in the next little while, all though that could mean two weeks or six months. :) We are currently in transition housing (i.e. a hotel) so that when he gets an offer we can pick up and leave. However, we may move into some more permanent temp housing soon...odd phrase, I know. Anyway, I've picked up some more students which is great. I've also started studying to get certified as a personal trainer. I'm really excited about it. Oh, and Cam and I have decided to make a goal to participate in the Central Park Triathlon in August 2011. We are having a blast training. My brother has competed in many triathlons and even a half iron man and he has been so valuable in helping us.

May not sound like much, but its a lot going on. :)

Fun! Fun! Fun! Go Cubs Go!

So, my brother-in-law, Jon, is a huge Cubs fan (This is Cam's sister's husband). They live in Boise, ID, who just happens to be the home of the Boise Hawks. What you may not know is the the Hawks are a farm team for the Chicago Cubs.

Well, if anybody reading this knows me at all, they know I am a die-hard Cubs fan. I was born a Cubs fan! So, Jon was telling Cam and I about his tickets to the Hawks game and I had a thought... One of my life goals is to sing The National Anthem at Wrigley Field. One of these days I'll actually record it and send it in to them. However, in the mean time, I thought it would be super fun to sing for the Hawks. I asked John what he thought about it and he picked up the phone and called his contact! My freaking awesome bro-in-law totally set it up for me!!!!

August 14th I will be singing The National Anthem for the Boise Hawks!!! I may even get to wear my Cubs jersey! Wahooooooooooooo! I'm so excited!!! I'm singing for the Cubs twice removed lol! This is going to be so much fun, I can't wait! (Hopefully, they'll play better than the Cubs currently are).

"I am the captain of my soul"

"Invictus"

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley-

I heard this poem today and I was so moved by it. The Lord is my guide, he is my strength and my joy. However, "I am the master of my fate: I am the Captain of my soul."

Moving again...no cracks please!

So. we are headed out of our house around June 30th. We are moving into a little apt in Pleasant Hill. Its wonderfully close to the studio where I teach, and it will cut down on Cam's commute. Its a temporary place, just for a while. We aren't sure where we want to settle right now. There are some things up in the air. So, we'll see what happens, for now we are going to save like crazy.

It was a gorgeous Memorial Day this year. My mom got me a shirt for my birthday that says "We Salute You. To those who protect our freedom." I wore it with pride!! :) There are actually a lot of things going on right now, but most of them are mental. lol. Its too much to write right now though, besides I'll wait until things are settled. I hope everybody had a great holiday!

A quote I like...

Every one of us can mother someone—beginning, of course, with the children in our own families but extending far beyond. Every one of us can show by word and by deed that the work of women in the Lord’s kingdom is magnificent and holy. I repeat: We are all mothers in Israel, and our calling is to love and help lead the rising generation through the dangerous streets of mortality.” Sheri L. Dew, “Are We Not All Mothers?,” Ensign, Nov 2001, 96

Counsel with the Lord

I have learned many lessons through my years on this earth. Some I have learned early, some I learned recently, and some I've learned over, and over, and over again.

I have often been taught to counsel with the Lord in all my decisions. I have tried to be diligent in using this tool. However, only recently have I discovered that the Lord does not always expect you to sit around and wait for his guidance. I have been made aware of this on a smaller scale, but on a much larger scale, this is still true.

So much of my life has been spent wishing and hoping that the Lord would grant me things that I did not have the courage to ask for. I figured that if they were supposed to happen, then the Lord would simply make it all fall into place. This is not counseling with the Lord, this is sitting back and watching life go by. The Lord expects us to make choices and then consult with Him on whether they are right or not. If this was not His plan, then we would be following Satan's plan, and be told exactly what to do, when to do it, and how. Instead, we have our agency and the Holy Ghost to guide us.

Its amazing what the Lord will bless you with if you only ask with a broken heart and a contrite spirit. You must be ready and willing to accept for the Lord to say no as well, but you'll never know whether or not He would have said yes until you ask.

I am so grateful for my many blessings, the best and most wonderful being the gospel and my husband. There are so many others, and I am grateful that agency is among them. I grateful for the Lord's guidance in my life. He knows what path will bring me the most joy and happiness. It turns out, I have a pretty good idea of what will make me happy as well...I guess we make a great team!

Mother's Day

Okay, so Mother's Day is next Sunday, however I am not the happiest of people on Mother's Day. I love and appreciate my mother and mother-in-law, as well as all of my family and friends who are mothers. However, on Mother's Day I tend to get sucked into a downward spiral of self-pity. Don't lecture me please, I know I should focus on others but, oh well. I can't help it, its a dark day for me. Its even worse because my birthday is always either on Mother's Day or right before or after it. There is nothing like celebrating one more year without children on the day you should be honored for having them. Don't worry the rest of this post is very happy and uplifting, I just had to preface it with this dismal explanation.

So, in the spirit of Mother's Day, I have decided to write a blog post for the mothers I know while I'm still in the mood. :) So this is to tell my mother how much I love and appreciate her, as well as the other mothers in my life. :)

Mothers should be recognized all year long, however especially on Mother's Day. There is a reason for this day!!! I know not all mothers are as they should be, but there are plenty who are worthy of the honor of this day.

There is a song I like to sing to my mom on Mother's Day. The words are:

Mother, I love you

Mother, I do

Father in heaven has sent me to you

When I am near you

I love to hear you

Singing so softly that you love me too

Mother, I love you

I love you, I do

My mother has dealt with a lot of ups and downs in her life, but she has always tried her hardest to be the best mother possible. Unfortunately, there are people out there who forget all she does for others, who forget the capacity of love she has to share, who forget that nobody is perfect and our flaws are what make us unique. My mother would lay down her life for any one of her children. She will willingly give up anything she has, anything she could borrow, and anything she could steal, for her children or grandchildren.

One of the best things about my mom, is her ability to accept people. Don't get me wrong, if you hurt one of her kids you had better sleep with a gun under your pillow. Cause, she'll send one of my brothers after you! However, she is "mom" to all who come around. There is no difference to her whether your an in-law, a step-child, a friend's kid, etc, your family.

My mom is an inspiration too. She graduated from college, though it took her 30 years. Then she went on to get her masters and is currently working on her second!! She supports the choices of her children, and like all mothers, offers advice when she feels its needed. Though we may not want to hear it, she is just trying to share the lessons learned in her life.

There are no words to describe the love that I have for my mother. I am so grateful that we will be a family for eternity.

Another incredible mother in my life is Cam's mom. My mother-in-law is also a wonderful mother. Her children and grandchildren put a special smile on her face. She is also a great mother-in-law. I have to say, one of the most fun times I have EVER had was a girls trip we had in Seattle. Cam's sisters, his mother, and sister-in-law all headed to Seattle for a weekend, and boy...we laughed a lot! My mother-in-law would do absolutely anything for her kids or grand kids. My favorite things about her is watching the way her whole world lights up when she is around her family. The efforts she puts into family gatherings, even with extended family, reveal how much she loves us all.

She has made great efforts to be supportive of my career, even flying out to IL just see me in a college show! Cam's mom and Dad also came out to CA to see Cam play the trumpet.

My mother-in-law inspires me with her excitement and dedication to genealogy, it has rubbed off on me. :) She has served as a musical missionary, and I always see her working on some project or another for people in need. She has taught me many of the skills I can't wait to teach my daughters, like cross stitching, crocheting, and HEC!!! :) I only wish we lived closer so she could teach me how to play the piano better...

I am very lucky to have such wonderful examples of mothers in my life. They make me believe I will be a good mother too, because I have had the privilege of learning from these amazing women.

Happy Mother's Day to my mothers, sisters, sisters-in-law, other family, and friends. You are all so special to me. Have a wonderful day on Sunday, but if your not my mother or mother-in-law...I'll talk to you another day. :) This day is truly important, it recognizes the greatest accomplishment of you life, guiding God's children through their time on this earth. Setting an example for all other mothers-to-be, and those who maybe shouldn't be mother at all.

I started small, looking up to you

I walked in your shoes, then fell and scraped my knee

I was comforted in your loving arms

This was how I knew you were my mother

I grew taller, yet I still looked up to you

I learned about hurt and anger and pain

I learned you were there when I needed you

This was how I knew you were my mother

I became taller still, and looked you in the eye

I watched you to learn how to become a woman

I confided in you and you loved me still

This was how I knew you were my mother

I'm all grown up now, and your eyes look up to me

I think of all we have taught each other

I realize that no matter what, I still look up to you

This is how I know your my mother

-L-